A year ago today, Ryan and I got married. A year ago, right this second, my brother-in-law Brad was out fetching coffee and sugar, while Dee and I tittered nervously in the kitchen. I couldn't sleep -- neither could her 2-week old baby, so we sat together in the dark, buzzing on the excitement.

I think all day, I'll be processing what happened a year ago right.this.minute. Around 10am, I'll remember that I was walking the pier, reciting the vows I had written, trying desperately to remember them. I'll remember that Mary Grace listened to them so many times, she could not only prompt me, she could probably recite them herself.

Around noon, I'll remember standing on a ladder, tying balloons to tree branches and hoping like crazy that it would turn out more pinterest-y and Martha Stewart-esque, than "shit, we got tee-peed the day of the wedding."

Around 1:30PM, I'll remember seeing my soon-to-be brother-in-law stumbling across the yard and thinking that the groom was on the premises. Que a mild heart attack.

At 2pm, I'll remember coaxing Ralph into my car. I'll remember forgetting my flowers and sending Stephanie and KTB back to put cups on the tables. I'll remember shutting my phone off and drinking margarita mix from the bottle. And I'll remember turning on the playlist that I carefully cultivated all summer, just for the occasion of getting ready with all of my best girlfriends.

I'll remember curling my sister's hair. I'll remember when Kate burned her leg on an old car. I'll remember sitting in that old Pontiac with MG and watching Ryan come roaring onto the beach on a motorcycle, with his fleet riding in behind him. I'll remember when MG left me with her phone and I'll remember when that text came through -- "it's time."

****

All day -- I'l remember this: