You guys, sometimes I can be spontaneous, too. Which is why I was driving at midnight yesterday, with the windows down, with lots of Eddie Murphy queued up on Spotify. My guys were in the back seat, puppy snoozing and not providing much by the way of company, so it was just me and "Half!" for many hours of laughter -- and a reminder that, as it gets passed over and over, I do still have a line of decency.

That last sentence is for my mother.

Actually, I'm pretty calculated and not spontaneous at all. The windows were down to keep me awake, and it was midnight because I have no self-control about leaving at a reasonable time -- but the rest was true. Admittedly, I am trying to make my life sound more poetic and interesting than just I-had-some-miles-to-cover-and-it-was-kinda-late.

This is not important, but Jack lost his marbles playing in my sisters sprinkler system and then, just for the hell of it, promptly rolled around in her tomato garden. The back seat of my car is now a beach. No seriously -- bring your little mason jar when you visit, fill it with my beach sand and have your jar of memories. So snugly and whatnot.

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Anyway, yesterday I went to see my sister because she's pregnant for what she says is the last time --and I think she might be serious -- so I have this irrational fear that every time I see her, it's the last time I'll witness her in the throws of holy-vesselhood. For life.

I tend to be a little dramatic about things (my mother is reading this right now and for sure is like, oh - you don't say!) but growing up and getting married and having kids feels like this book chapter that you look forward to for a long time. And when it's over, and you flip the page to the next chapter -- I don't know -- it just seems like, bittersweet I guess. The next forty chapters are no doubt very good, but it's hard to close the book on such a great one, you know? Maybe after I have my own kids I'll feel differently, like close it! Close it now! But for today, I'm just trying to savor the last few pages of my sister's chapter.

 I'm so into this: my sister's baby with my babies.