So, thank God I'm alive this week -- I've learned alot.

For instance, if you say "walk" or "treat" or "keees?" in a quick succession, it doesn't matter how many times you say it, dogs will still give you that head-turn look that suggests that they speak English. I encourage you to try it. They'll do it forever and you'll laugh forever.

If you're confused, I mean this:

Also, if you're used to driving a stick and have a healthy habit of holding down the clutch every time you meet a curve in the road, then I suggest you sit on your left foot when your husband asks you to drive his not-a-stick new car. Find a way, seriously, or you will break your nose the first time you put that brake pedal floor with your left foot.

PS - the clutch and the brake pedal are not the same.

And finally, if you indulge in a verbal anxiety attack at work, people will think that you're high strung forever. It's only been a couple of days, but I'm willing to gamble that nobody will forget about that.

So anyway, in case you don't read any mommy bloggers, it's fall. And apparently, if you are a mommy blogger, we've been waiting for fall since June first, so praisejesushallelujah, pumpkin spice latte season is here.

I know it's hard to read tone, so I'll be clear -- I'm being sarcastic. I'm really more summer oriented and I've never liked the PSL. I know, I'm a white girl with a blog. This goes against every stereotype white girls with blogs have ever strived to achieve. But, you know, Whatever, it's just not for me.

That said, I do enjoy apple cider, so cheers to fall!

***

Totally unrelated, but have you ever wondered what your dogs do when you're at work? Yeah, me too. Every morning, when I leave, I prep my dogs for the day ahead. I tell them things like, "I'll be back in a few hours, guys" and "just take a quick nap and I'll be back before you even notice that I left." Mainly I just pretend that maybe they miss me more than I miss them. In any case, I learned a valuable lesson today in that my dogs speak in beeps. Maybe it even qualifies as Morse Code.

No seriously, hear me out.

When I park in my driveway, hop out and lock the car, it makes a pretty familiar "beep" sound. Apparently, the sound of the beep, partial to my car, is along the lines of a secret code that actually means "it's your mom." My dogs interpret that as "hey mom, I hear your home. I'll be on the couch if you need me."

So, the only thing is that Ryan's car doesn't make a beep when it locks. So the dogs know he's home when they hear the door bang open, which is actually code for "get the eff off the furniture!"

A little like:
























And so then launch themselves on the softest bit of floor they can find and are all like, "oh hey boss, just in case you're wondering, we been here since you left. Yawwwwwn."

***

Anyway -- it's Wednesday and I'm kind of exhausted. That should explain the animal GIFs because that's what I do when I'm bored and tired. Animals + funny + GIF. No, seriously, try it.

And you're welcome.