Sometimes we thrive, sometimes we survive. This week, I spilled gravy on my kiddo's face, and proceeded to just lick it off. Like having bandaids and a just-in-case diaper in my purse, I think this just means I'm getting in the swing of this mom thing. See? Duke and I are both maturing.

You guys, Duke is four months old and every day gets a little more how did we ever live without you.  He's right in the middle of what the internet wisely calls the four month sleep regression, and I'll be totally honest with you: yesterday after a day of 10-minute catnaps and a really early morning, by 7pm I was officially practicing the cry it out for five full minutes method. I was frustrated, tired, and really wanted to eat. And we totally had another rough night with about five wake-ups, but when he woke up this morning  just before five, I couldn't even be mad. He was so smily and giggly, I didn't even mind getting up. The way he looks at Ry and I when he wakes up is so so so worth it.

This month, he's picked up giggling. They're like happy little accidents though -- smiles that become too big for him to hold, so it just explodes out and it's the best sound I've ever heard.

He's also learned a little cause and effect. Throwing toys from his little bumbo seat with every expectation that we'll scoop 'em up and put them back in his hands. And then we do it again. And again. And again again.

We do not have a roller - yet, but we have a serious try-er, which I think is slightly more important. Persistence and tenacity, baby - learn 'em. He really wants it and has been working those abs every chance he gets. I think he'll have it down in the next few weeks, but we'll revisit at - gulp - his five month update.

Hey - this is fun -- my work recently enacted a policy that allows us to bring our little turkeys into the office two days a week. So far, we're only doing half days. Ryan scoops him up after lunch so I can put the pedal to the metal and get some work done, but I'll tell you, nothing motivates me to get on the phone so much as looking down at that little guy in his pack and play and remembering all the braces, summer camps and college tuition I should start saving for. Everyday feels like a good day to make a sale, but there's just something about remembering that a decade from now, there will be some equivalent to overpriced Hollister jeans that I'll need to buy ('cause m-ahhhhm, they're the only ones that even, like, fit me right.) to keep me on track, you know?



So now let's talk a little more about the sleep regression doohickey. I've read quite a bit about it, namely because I've had ample 2am time to catch up on my infant theories. Anyway, my great sleeper went from waking up once, maybe twice a night, to every hour or hour and a half. Seriously. My fitbit  kept tracking about four hours of non-consecutive sleep every night and this mama hit a wall. On Monday, Duke had his four month immunizations and came home rocking a fever that kept him up all night long. I really tried to be a functioning human, but the fever coupled with not sleeping much  anyway sort of made me think that death can't be so bad. At least you get to sleep. On Thursday night, I let Ryan take the baby and I went to bed at 7pm.

I totally woke up a younger, brighter me. Actually making it into the REM cycle will do that to you.

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Duke is becoming so much more fun every day. He's not just a baby blob anymore -- he has maturing communication skills and is becoming more interactive every day. The trade off to being sad that your baby is growing up so quickly is looking forward to how much more fun they get with each month. I'm not into rushing it (except to get summer here pronto), but the next six months is going to get really good. I can't wait for baby babbles that start to sound like actual words, and I am really curious to see how the dogs react when the the tiny human becomes mobile.

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Now let's talk about me for a hot second. First up, I have the postpartum bod volume 2 mostly written and ready to roll. I'll post that someday.

But every mother deserves to know that sometimes, after you have a baby, your hair will fall out in giant clumps and you will wonder if you're going bald. I'm still wondering and I'm still crying about it.

I didn't really notice that it was falling out dramatically until I started to see many many baby hairs appearing - think PeeWee in the Little Rascals. Then I got serious and started paying attention and holy shit, I'm about to give Ryan a run for his money in bald spottiness.

I kind of accept that there's not much I can do when my body just decides it doesn't care to have hair anymore (and can we make that decision about my legs too?) so I'm just rolling with it, breaking out the hats, and crossing my fingers that this will be short-lived.

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You guys, happy Sunday!