And otherwise titled, the final volume. On the day that Duke turned four months old, I technically hit my pre-baby weight and called it a day. I always used to fluctuate a good five pounds, and full disclosure, I'm at the high end of the fluctuation, but while I'm still nursing, I feel really comfortable right here. All my pre-baby clothes fit and that was the primary driver.

To see where I started, the After Baby Body Volume One which includes pre-baby and immediately after pregnancy, is here.

It took exactly four months to lose 50lbs and in those months, there were some slow losing weeks, and some wicked fast losing weeks and a few weeks that were at a dead stop that had me feeling pretty defeated.

Before I had Duke, when I was really hot, hovering around 170lbs and tersely reminding myself that this whole thing is a GD miracle, I was really afraid I wouldn't lose the weight. I've never tried to lose a substantial amount of weight before + I have a nutritive diet based almost entirely on sugar + no sense of self control. I had the Lord's Prayer on repeat in my mind, especially that bit, you know, about deliver me from my temptations. Please Lord, deliver me from all the Sour Patch Kids and Swedish Fish that you saw fit to put on the grocery shelves.

I really wanted to be one of those people who just exhaled once and somehow lost the weight, but it didn't happen that way. I had to do the thing that we all have to do -- I traded Twizzlers for salad and tried not to cry.

But seriously, I quit the carbs, swapped actual spaghetti for spaghetti squash and walked for an hour every.single.day. Around Thanksgiving, I gave up dairy because it's been fucking with my kid's gastrointestinals and producing the kind of stink that A.) competes with his dad and B.) has me asking God to deliver me from that, too. Anyway, since cheese is a love second only to candy, I think that helped burn through the final pounds. And now, here we are, mostly back in business.

I will say that even though the scale is back into familiar territory, my body is not the same. Everyone's different, but after carrying a child, I don't think I'm ever going to snap right back because I'm pretty sure that my bones moved locations. My hips are wider, my rib cage is wider, and one sip of soda puffs out the pooch in my stomach that serves as a friendly reminder of where I grew little Duke.  I used to have accidental abs -- you know, they were just there. The magic of youth. Those are gone forever now. But I 10000% acknowledge that I exchanged all this for a perfect healthy baby, and I'd do it again a hundred times. Isn't the human body magical? Seriously though.

So, let's  do a list to make things concrete. Here's what worked for me.

• I gave up anything white. White flour, white rice, white bread, white sugar, white pasta. Goodbye. And I mostly gave up their brown counterparts, too. 
• I walked every day. 
• I exclusively breastfeed. Jury's still out on if this helps, but it definitely didn't hurt.
• I wear my baby all the time. Cleaning my house, running errands and going for walks -- I put that 15lb burrito in a carrier and strap him on. 
• I went back to work. Hear me out on this -- it made me busy and gives me less opportunity to think about food. It also makes me happy, which I think is a secret, key ingredient to weight loss. 

***

So that's it - that's the story of how I lost the weight. I had being young-ish on my side (I'm not sure that having your first baby at 28 is considered young, but being 28 is still young in the grand scheme of life, I guess) and I dieted. That's the secret.

So here's the post I've been a little bit afraid to write and definitely nervous to publish, because talking about weight is unpleasant in any case, but talking about it after pregnancy has wrecked your body is bad times a million.

But, when I was pregnant, I used to google these types of blog posts all the time, because I wanted to see what the postpartum journey is like. You hear so many things, like you'll never be the same, or that breastfeeding makes the weight melt off at warp speed (total myth, by the way).  And honestly, I still read about post baby bodies on a few forums that I follow (I used the Sprout app and still do - they have a great postpartum moms section). Anyway, what I know is this: some women lose all the weight in two weeks (but I'm not bitter) and some lose the weight in nine months. Some women never lose the weight. My guess is it depends on a hellish combination of motivation, genetics, and how much you gained in pregnancy.

Here's my facts:

• Pre-pregnancy, I typically weighed in between 115-120lbs, depending on how many kit-kats I ate for dinner. 
• On the day I delivered, I weighed 169lbs. 
• Overall, from January to September, I gained between 50-55lbs.
• Immediately, after delivery, I lost 15lbs. A quick 5lbs followed in the next week. 
• After the first week, it's been more of an effort to get the pounds off. Breastfeeding be damned.
• And for reference, I am 5'7". 

I gained weight everywhere. Just everywhere. I packed on a lot in the first trimester because I was so sick all the time and I always craved brown rice, so I ate a lot of it. It soothed the nausea and I thought it was healthy, so I ate huge servings. Boom, pounds.
My weight rose pretty steadily for the entire nine months, and eventually I just had to come to terms with it. I'm the kind of pregnant girl who just gains weight -- it is what it is. I had to remind myself that it was temporary and eventually my body would be my own again.

So here we are.


It's a pretty slow process. In my old life, I could swap out dinner for a bowl of broccoli a few times a week, kick out the soda, and still have a bowl of ice cream in bed, and somehow still manage to drop 5+ pounds. Now, I'm breastfeeding, so dieting is off the table, and while I don't gain weight, it doesn't just fall off either.

Around 5 weeks postpartum, I started walking everyday for about an hour and limiting white flour and sugar. I just was cleared to work out, so I've been mixing in some squats, sit-ups and wall sits. Slowly, but surely, the scale is going down and things are starting to go back to where they belong. All in all, I'm 32lbs down from my last day of pregnancy, and 18ish lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight. I head back to work in four weeks, and ideally, I'd like to be around 125 by then so I can sort of fit in my old clothes, but we'll see.

So, that's where I'm at, and I'm pretty comfortable with it. I've set myself up with a few short term goals -- sneaking back into the 130's was the first one! Next stop is 135, then 125, and finally 120.  To be honest though, I feel decently good seeing the progress, all while maintaining a great milk supply for Duke which has been my first priority. And if all else fails, my whole array of shoes fit, so you know, be grateful for the small things, right?

See you back for another check in on the postpartum body in a few months. Fingers crossed the progress continues!

Here we are guys -- well, actually, here I am. The end of my pregnancy, so they say, and still pregnant. Here's what I've learned in 9 months:

• Your due date is an estimation, otherwise known as a giant crock of shit. Doctors, weather people and FedEx -- we're all just guessing, okay.
• At the end, you will beg your uterus to feel pain on the off chance that it means labor is beginning. Was that a twinge? Yes please! 
• Not working and not having a baby is effing boring. If I don't have this baby tonight, I might show back up in the office tomorrow. I get a little jealous and teary-eyed every time Ryan makes a sale. Sniff sniff -- I used to do that, too. 

So anyway, we're literally expecting this baby any old time now, and my patience is wearing thin. But I'm trying. This weekend, we kind of decided that it's probably our last weekend OF OUR LIVES, that we're not parents, so we're actively making the most of it. On Friday, we went out for Thai food and requested our curry be 78% spicy, American, not Thai, and my lips were literally on fire. I thought, huh, I guess this is what it feels like to be stung by 100 bees, or get botox in your lips, whatever.

Then we went to see Sully, which was interesting, but not awesome. You know, good movie, I probably won't see it again though. I really like Tom Hanks and Ryan is really into pilots and airplanes, and we both like candy, so it was a pleasant "last" date night. (And for the record, I know it's not our last date night -- but it is the last one for a really long time that doesn't have arranging a babysitter and being home at a certain time in the mix.)

Last night, the first crisp fall breezes came through and it was awesome. I broke out the apple cider scented everything while Ryan cooked in the kitchen. We went to a potluck with a few friends and stood outside all night in hoodies and jeans. It's weird how good that all feels after a humid summer -- feels good every year.

Today, Ryan is salmon fishing with is brother, who he conned into coming up here with the phrase "this is the last weekend that I'm not a dad -- get up here!" And anyway, it worked. And so help me if I have not made that man a dad by next weekend.

A few other things I want to share, because we all like to laugh, right?

• Did you know I used to be an Admissions Counselor? Of course you did -- I don't keep it a secret, but  here's a little peek into why I left the weird sticky world of recruiting halfway adults. Laugh, because it's real. May we all avoid becoming helicopter parents. And also, dig more into the Admissions Problems blog -- it doesn't get updated anymore, but it's still hilarious. And here's another one, because JFC, this is our future. Swag, yolo. 
• You got a small taste of it earlier in this post, but maternity leave is freaking me out. Like most of us, I've had a job since I graduated high school, namely because I like buying things -- electricity, nail polish, the occasional $10 mojito -- you know. But there's also something to be said about the identity you cultivate for yourself as a professional woman -- and when that changes -- if fucks you up. 

"As a professional woman, I’m always doing two things at once...While multi-tasking is a key skill later in motherhood, during maternity leave my multi-tasking abilities became limited to changing a diaper and crying at the same time."

So, things to look forward to, yes?

Alright, now lets talk about this overcooked bay-bay. Featuring my baby daddy:

So, summer is over. Bummer, huh?

Actually, I don't even mind. I hate January thru March because that's the suckiest, most dismal time of year, right? But fall, you know, has its charms. Like cider and pumpkin candles and the birth of a child, please God.

I'm having a little anxiety about that right now, kind of randomly. Pinterest somehow knows my life story even though I have never shared the intimate details personally -- isn't it bizarre how all of your electronic devices suddenly know everything about you. Mine does, and I'm sure yours does too, but my phone will often tell me how far from work or home I am and it freaks me the fuck out. Anyway, Pinterest keeps popping up with a variation of the exact same article: "10 Things You Should Do Before Your Baby is Born". Or perhaps "77 Things I Wish I Knew Before Delivery". And the best, "Everything You're Forgetting".

They're all the same. I'm forgetting to pack chapstick, and I'll need to bring a pillow because hospital pillows suck, and breastfeeding is going to be the fiery pits of hell for the first few weeks-- blah blah blah, but seriously. Give me a heart attack. I was planning to just wing this delivery business, like I show up, the professionals give me some pain relief and tell me what to do, and 20-odd hours later, we'll have a baby. Sounds fair, right?

Basically I got overwhelmed making lists, changing them, rearranging them, and packing seventeen sticks of lip balm before I remembered that pregnancy has made me significantly less tolerant and maybe I can just stick to my original plan because I.Don't.Care about how fluffy the pillows are right now. I'm just going to walk in, ask for the juice, and let someone who's read more books than me guide me in the right direction.

Now for a couple of randoms, because this post is already getting lengthy and I haven't even said anything worthwhile yet:

• George has a brand new party trick: opening the deck gate. He already figured out how to get through the patio door, then this week he started opening the gate, and five minutes later, we're all "where's Georgie?" Gone folks, gone. In the river taking a swim or rolling in poop somewhere (another new party trick!)
• Ryan had  himself a birthday! We went to go see War Dogs and out for Thai food. All the spicy food for me, because obviously. 
• New, fun (!) obstacle here at the Hodges Nursery. Ryan assembled the crib in the garage, which seemed like a good idea because that's where the zoo of tools lives. But then - you know where this is going -- when he and his brother carried it into the house, it totally doesn't fit through the bedroom door, despite enacting every variety of 7th grade geometry that our teachers promised us we'd use when we're adults. 

Alright -- onward to the baby update. I'm combining 38 and 39 weeks because I'm obviously behind and because it's getting too late to catch-up. And because I've had "Full Term" written on my chalkboard since 36.5 weeks and if I don't use it now, I never will.

Well guys, here we are, closing out week 37 and I am formally and officially kickin' full-term. So, as a gal who chronically suffers from lack of patience in general, normal, only slightly exciting things, I am currently exhibiting the kind of patience that children have between the hours of 4 and 5AM on Christmas morning.

Zero.

Let's all join together for a moment of silence for my husband, who has agreed to stay within the general vicinity of home for the next few weeks and is currently living on a prayer. And the sound of my voice, talking pretty constantly about the baby. And stretch marks. And how hungry I am. And how much of a whale I feel like. And how I need to get. This. Baby. Out. Now.

He promised to love me forever and is at least contractually obligated to be with me for the rest of my life, so it is what it is. And anyway, we celebrated that legally binding commitment we made yesterday for our third wedding anniversary. How quickly the years go. The days are long, but the years are short, you know? I look forward to year four, especially with what is undoubtedly going to be one of the happiest moments of our life still in front of us. Isn't that something. When we are old, this time that we are living right now, and the most important moment of our lives coming up so shortly, is going to be such a good thing to reminisce about.

The countdown is on, but for now, here we are at 37 weeks.